The Lifeguard Diaries

The insanity of being a lifeguard as experienced by myself and others. Feel free to submit your stories, questions, or whatever.

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May 4 '14

29 notes (via lifeguardproblems)Tags: text

May 3 '14

lifeguardconfessions:

redlikethecolour:

eatfithappiness:

zingey:

pumpkinpieinyoureyes:

jessiesula:

pizzaforpresident:

I’m so done with this planet

she saved two lives and all they care about is her nipple.

this is sexism, my friends.

This is just fucking ridiculous! I’m sure the last thing she gave a shit about was her nipple coming out while she was SAVING HER CHILD AND THEIR NANNY! 

Gotta love he fact that the story is about the nip slip and not the rescue.  The rescue is just an afterthought.

Ridiculous

This is why I(we all) need feminism

This is so not okay that the headline is about her nipple instead of her saving their LIVES!!!

412,517 notes (via lifeguardconfessions & coolator)Tags: photo

May 3 '14

seductivesurvivor:

Don’t ever feel offended if I don’t answer your asks or anons or memes. I’m not ignoring you. I would never ignore anybody on purpose. Either tumblr ate them or I had every intention to and I just forgot. 

So this is basically a reminder that I’m human and a terrible one at that so don’t hate me for my flaws because I have a lot of them.

(Source: katerinaqueenofhell)

41,416 notes (via lifeguardproblems & katerinaqueenofhell)Tags: text

May 2 '14
salmasaleem:

Places I’d like to visit:  Venice, Italy

salmasaleem:

Places I’d like to visit:
Venice, Italy

46 notes (via lifeguardconfessions & salmasaleem)Tags: photo

May 2 '14

alwaysdownandout:

The season of leg shaving is upon us.

384,687 notes (via lifeguardconfessions & alwaysdownandout)Tags: text

May 1 '14

Anonymous asked:

can we talk about indoor pools? And how it may be humid and hot and you may be dehydrating and sweating and can't breathe but as soon as you open a window, people start complaining the 90-degree pool is suddenly "cold"?

Yes! I don’t guard at one, but during the school year I swim at one. You crack the door and all hell breaks loose! Every time that happens all I can think is that they must not like breathing

2 notes Tags: pool indoor pool lifeguard ask anon Anonymous

Mar 31 '14
venicebeachstyl:

Beautiful #sunset #lifeguard #tower #clouds #ocean #pacific #venicebeach #venicebeachstyl #nikamagic

venicebeachstyl:

Beautiful #sunset #lifeguard #tower #clouds #ocean #pacific #venicebeach #venicebeachstyl #nikamagic

2 notes (via venicebeachstyl)Tags: photo

Mar 31 '14

Why Lifeguarding Is The Best and Wort Job Ever

uniqueschatje:

1. Pro: You get paid to tan, essentially.

Con: You have the worst tan lines of all time.

Con: You have the worst tan lines of all time.

2. Pro: You get to rock sweet lifeguard swag.

 

Con: If you wear it outside of work everyone expects you to intervene in crises.

Why Lifeguarding Is The Best And Worst Job Ever

3. Pro: You get to take a lot of unexpected breaks.

Why Lifeguarding Is The Best And Worst Job Ever

Con: It’s usually because someone shat in the pool.

Con: It's usually because someone shat in the pool.

4. Pro: You have the ability to save LIVES.

Pro: You have the ability to save LIVES.

Con: You might have to actually save a life.

Why Lifeguarding Is The Best And Worst Job Ever

5. Pro: Kids at the pool are a great source of entertainment.

Why Lifeguarding Is The Best And Worst Job Ever

Con: Kids are the worst.

Con: Kids are the worst.

6. Pro: If it rains hard enough, you don’t have to work!

Pro: If it rains hard enough, you don't have to work!

Con: If you don’t work, you don’t get paid.

Con: If you don't work, you don't get paid.

7. Pro: You get to stare at people wearing bathing suits all day long.

Pro: You get to stare at people wearing bathing suits all day long.

Con: That’s not always a good thing.

Con: That's not always a good thing.

8. Pro: Guard Parties

Why Lifeguarding Is The Best And Worst Job Ever

Con: Lifeguarding with a hangover.

Con: Lifeguarding with a hangover.

9. Pro: On nice days you’re psyched to be outside.

Why Lifeguarding Is The Best And Worst Job Ever

Con: So is everyone else…

Con: So is everyone else...

10. Pro: On crappy days you know you won’t be busy at work.

 

Con: It’s sooooo boring.

 

11. Pro: Bossing people around is super awesome!

Pro: Bossing people around is super awesome!

Con: Bossing your friends’ parents around is not super awesome.

 

12. Pro: You get to go swimming on your breaks, which is what you’d be doing anyway.

 

Con: You smell like chlorine for an entire summer.

Con: You smell like chlorine for an entire summer.

13. Pro: All the concession stand snacks your stomach can handle, FREE*!

Pro: All the concession stand snacks your stomach can handle, FREE*!

*(Or discount, depending on where you work or how good of friends you are with the snack stand workers).

Con: It’s arguably the worst time of the year to be carbo-loading.

Con: It's arguably the worst time of the year to be carbo-loading.

14. Pro: If you save someone who is drowning everyone thinks you’re a hero.

Pro: If you save someone who is drowning everyone thinks you're a hero.

Con: If you save someone who isn’t drowning everyone thinks you’re insane.

Con: If you save someone who isn't drowning everyone thinks you're insane.

15. Pro: Hanging with your friends all summer! Seriously, this is the most fun job EVER!

Why Lifeguarding Is The Best And Worst Job Ever

16. Con: NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO WORK THIS JOB.

Con: NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO WORK THIS JOB.

17. Pro: It really is the best way to spend your summer.

Pro: It really is the best way to spend your summer.

Con: The summer always goes too fast!

Why Lifeguarding Is The Best And Worst Job Ever

81 notes (via uniqueschatje)Tags: text

Mar 30 '14

Lifeguard Probs: What I always fear will happen when I make a save

uniqueschatje:

4. Pro: You have the ability to save LIVES.

Pro: You have the ability to save LIVES.

Con: You might have to actually save a life.

Why Lifeguarding Is The Best And Worst Job Ever

51 notes (via uniqueschatje)Tags: text

Mar 30 '14

Life guarding

rachethegreat:

So I work at my local YMCA as a life guard. Today I began doing my usual closing procedures, which includes testing the water from both pools. After testing the lap pool, I walked into the therapy pool where three girls between the ages of 8 and 10 were playing. Upon entering the pool, one girl gasped and stared at me, then stated
” Look at the life guard in her natural habitat!”
I began collecting some water to test. “Watch her as she retrieves her hopeless pray, water particles.”
I look up at her..
“The wild life guard has noticed us, stay still.”
I then stand up to leave so I can test the water.
” She is now separating her pray from it’s pack to torture it with chemicals and then release it into the lap pool, where the climate is much to cold for the young water particles to survive!”
Then I left the therapy pool so I could test the water in the lap pool area where the chemicals are. The three girls continued to contently observe me as I tested the water..

16 notes (via rachethegreat)Tags: text